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- How's that seafood tower treating you? - Delicioso, Ari. You outdid yourself this time.
This dinner's even better than the one when you signed Vince.
He wasn't around for that one, so he's ordering three types of caviar.
Until I see your credit card, you're still a dine-and-dash candidate.
Seriously, the guy's all right, he pulled out all the stops. Thank you.
Vinnie is officially a superstar, number one movie in the country, theme park ride.
Thank you. Cheers.
- Raise it up. - Congratulations.
- So tell us about the ride, Ari. - Aquaman the ride.
Water theme, obviously. Studio is going nuts over it.
- Did you see the commercial? - No. Do I have to go?
Head of studio's going, you're going.
I'll go to see you doing Mach 10 in a water flume.
I don't do thrill rides.
Not since I rode the partner's daughter in the mail room in '86.
You know what, you don't do the ride, I don't do the park.
Blockbuster clout has made this boy shrewd.
Another toast to that!
So where are we hitting next?
Home. I need at least 45 minutes to digest.
- I've gotta hurry home too. - What's the problem?
My daughter has a boy over.
That's so cute.
It's not cute. You know who it is? It's Max Ballard.
- The kid from Young 21 Jump Street? - Good show.
- Wasn't he in rehab for Vicodin addiction? - Hey, moron, he's 13.
- In celeb years, that's like 30. - What does that make you, Drama? 140?
So you're admitting I'm a celeb.
That's bullshit, Drama.
Just because the guy put the doggie bag in front of you, doesn't mean it's yours.
You said it yourself, possession is nine tenths of the law.
This glorious 32oz porterhouse is in my possession.
- What's that? - Get off it!
Damn!
- Too slow, Turtle. - Which one of you left the door open?
- That would be the meat stealer. - I don't think so. I was first out.
You were till you ran back in to splash some more Drakkar.
Arnold don't sound too happy.
- I'm gonna call Westec. - Forget it.
- Rent-a-cops move slower than real ones. - So you're just gonna go in?
Life is for the adventures, E.
Maybe we should leave Vince in the car.
If something happens to him, we're all fucked.
Do you smell something?
Is that sausage?
No, that's gourmet kielbasa. It's been ageing for three days.
I was gonna surprise you guys.
I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch.
- Wait, wait. You go first. We'll come behind. - Why don't you go?
I can hear you assholes.
Dom?
Surprise, motherfuckers!
- What's up, bro? - Give me some love, man.
Been on a bus for the last three days with your pretty fucking picture on it, Vince. Ironic, huh?
You gotta learn to knock, bro. You have no idea how close you came...
Close to what, Drama? You need more muscle than you three and Aquaman to get me.
- What did you do to my dog? - He's in the john eating a nice piece of meat.
Not my lamb chops?
Hey, Ebola. What's with you, you infectious fucking disease?
You know I always hated that name, Dom. How are you?
- How did you get out of prison? - They let me out. Good behaviour.
Damn, you motherfuckers look good.
- It's been a long time. I missed you. - We missed you too.
- We haven't been together since '98. - At least.
- This calls for a celebration. - I'll break out the Lцwenbrдu.
Take me out. I've been surrounded by nothing but men for five years. Show me some pussy.
I think we can do that. Come on.
You come back here!
I hate you!
The director was really up my ass during this scene.
Don't you dare slam that door!
I wanna live with my father!
It's 10:30, get him out.
- He's a nice boy, Ari, stop it. - Nice boys don't have nine cars.
- You hear that? - What?
Silence.
They've stopped talking.
I'm going in.
Hey, baby. Totally forgot you had company. How's it going, Max?
- Hey, Mr Gold. - What are you guys doing?
Max is showing me scenes from his new movie. It's so good.
Thanks, babe.
- All right. Time to go. - Daddy!
It's 10:30, honey, it's way too late. Come on.
- It's cool, Sarah, I'll just see you tomorrow. - We're going to Six Flags tomorrow.
- I know, I'll be there too. - Why will you be there?
Max is in talks about taking over the Cody Banks franchise.
- My peeps think it's a good press op. - It's gonna be a zoo, Max.
Want to be ripped limb from limb by screaming fans?
You kidding? I love my fans. Later, dude. I'll IM you late night. Ciao.
I'll walk you out.
In the joint, the homos on my tier have pictures of you on the wall.
I told them, "I grew up with that little punk you're whacking it to." They didn't believe me.
- That you knew the Chase brothers? - They believed I knew you, Drama.
Why didn't you call? I'd have sent you a ticket.
I had a lot of loose ends to tie up. Mostly parole board crap.
They had to give me permission just to come out. Plus I wanted to surprise you.
Nothing like a good breaking and entering to get the heart pumping.
How did you find the house?
Star maps.
How long are you staying for?
What's with this guy? What is this? A fucking interrogation?
- What's your problem? - He just got here, you ask when he's leaving.
Stay as long as you want, Dom, we've got space.
Thanks, Vince. It's nice to know you're still there for me. It's been a rough road.
You come out of the joint, a lot of people you thought were your friends, they're not.
I guess it's hard to love a felon.
Anyway, before I get all misty like a queer,
why don't you hook me up with some easy ass?
Come on, I'll take a lap with you, show you my skills. You can come too, Drama.
Like I need an invitation.
- E, what you being a dick for? - I'm not being a dick, I just don't trust him.
- You don't like that he calls you E. Coli? - It's Ebola and that's nothing to do with it.
- We've known him our whole lives. - It's that I know him that worries me.
He shows up after we open at number one. He wants something.
Look at the guilt he's throwing your way.
- I do owe him. - You're not why he went to jail.
- It was my weed. - Two joints.
He'd have got a day but he punched a cop.
He wouldn't have if it weren't for the joints.
- He'd have got knocked up, you know that. - I don't know that.
What are you going to do when he fucks up out here?
- Lf. - OK. Lf.
Then I'll deal with it. It will be my problem, not yours, OK?
Don't worry so much.
- We're number one, baby. - Number one, baby.
Have fun.
She's still online.
So go tell her you secretly monitor her buddy list. See how that affects trust issues.
- Daddy, what are you doing? - Go back to sleep. My computer's on the fritz.
I'll have this back to you before the morning. I love you.
All I said was that she had nice lips.
And you'd introduce them to your member.
- Where I come from that's a compliment. - Hysterical, Dom.
Does it feel like we're back home? Awesome to have you here, Dom.
- Yeah, Dom, awesome, bro. - I'll catch you guys later.
Hold on. I got a little something for you.
I know you're the de facto leader of this crew,
so I want to give you this as a show of my appreciation for letting me come out.
- He gave you a present. Be nice. - What is it?
It's a screenplay. I wrote it in the joint. It's about the last seven years of my life.
- You wrote it by hand? - All 234 pages, my friend.
And it's perfect for your next movie, Vince.
If there's anybody that could play me, it's you.
Don't worry about that script making sense cos it does, I read both Syd Field books.
He'll read it as soon as possible.
I appreciate it. Be careful with it, cos it's not only my heart and soul, it's my only copy.
- Ever heard of a Xerox, Dom? - Ever heard of not having cash?
Just don't smudge it. You may see me angry like in the old days.
- E, don't make him mad. - You remember how crazy the Dominator gets.
Fuck me, you fucker, fuck me!
Oh, yeah, you fuck me, fuck me hard.
Smack my ass.
Do you like that?
Oh, yeah. Oh, you like that?
You like that?
- You hear this guy, E? - People in Encino are hearing this guy.
Hysterical.
Yeah, waking up thinking somebody's being murdered.
He's been out of commission for five years, he's making up for it.
Oh, God.
Two minutes more, he'd have had my record beat.
- Who's he got up there? - It's one of those Aileen Wuornos types
he met at an inter-prison mingler.
Good one.
- Morning, fellas. - Come on!
- Jesus, Dom. - Classic.
- Can't be bashful in the big house. - We're not in the big house.
- I don't remember you being so uptight. - I'm not uptight.
Maybe I'm confusing things. Finished my script yet?
- I got it three hours ago. - A simple no would do.
- The answer's no. - You see? Uptight.
- See. - So get on it, E.
- There could be genius in those pages. - Yeah, E, get to work.
You didn't happen to write me in, did you? I'm a prominent part of the neighbourhood.
You'll be in the sequel, Drama.
There you are, baby.
How are you? Some Tropicana here if you want to replenish those fluids.
I got a Gatorade in the car.
So is this really where Aquaman lives?
And the front doors are down the hall, so feel free to kick yourself out.
Good job. You've got to love that LA Xpress paper.
Even though that wasn't the broad I ordered, she fucked like a world champion.
What are you doing with my Le Creuset, bro?
I'm going to use it to cook you breakfast.
That's not necessary, I do the cooking.
Poisoning us gives Drama a reason to live.
I cooked for 400 in the joint, you don't think I can cook for four jerk-offs in Beverly Hills?
- Go sit down. - You're a guest, Dom, I insist.
Drama, let go of the pan or I'll plant it in your head.
You guys are up early. What's going on?
- Dom offered to cook us breakfast. - He insisted.
Let him cook us breakfast, Johnny. Take the day off.
- How do you like your eggs, Vin? - Surprise me, Dom.
Do me a favour. Put on some underwear.
Never mind.
Ari, you're acting insane.
There's a movie star that has his sights set on our baby girl and I'm acting insane?
- He's 13. - Yeah, but in celeb years that's like 30.
How will you tell her that she can't go to the water park?
Tell her that there's a drought and the entire park dried up. I don't care.
- No, this is your thing. You're going to tell her. - Tell her what?
Nothing, baby, nothing.
When are we leaving for the water park? Max wants to know.
- You know that I love you? - Of course.
And it's out of love when I tell you that I don't want you coming to the water park today.
- And I don't want you seeing Max any more. - Why not?
- Because he's an actor and actors are bad. - But...
- I know this. I work with them all day. - Mom used to be an actor.
And now she's not, that's why now she's good.
You're being unfair. I really like him. You can't keep us apart.
- Well, I can certainly try. - Mom...
- Your father... - I hate you guys. I hate you!
Congratulations. You've just won 50,000 in child therapy.
In this town as long as I keep her off an E! True Hollywood Story, I've done my job.
You just don't use another man's deodorant. Period.
- I used Vince's this morning. - Not a roll-on.
Drama, I apologise, my mistake. Are you gonna forgive me?
Drama, the guy apologised, forgive him.
- Why is everyone against me all of a sudden? - Just get in the car.
- What are you doing? - Driving.
- I do the driving around here, Dom. - Really? How do you drive with one arm?
One arm?
Dead arm like in the old days. That's gonna leave a mark.
- No shit. - Don't cry, hit me back.
- I don't want to. - Hit him.
- I want to drive. - When did you get so territorial?
"I do the cooking, I do the driving."
We're neighbourhood guys, we share. You gone pussies?
Turtle, I haven't been behind the wheel of a car in a long time.
Vinnie. It's been five years since I've been behind the wheel of a car. I miss it.
Go ahead. Drive.
Why, what's the big deal?
Looks like I'm not the only one laid off, bro.
Years of service and this is the thanks I get?
- Quit whining, Turtle. - Easy for you to say, you got a window seat.
- Turtle, get your elbow out of my spleen. - You fucking stink, Drama.
Because I'm not wearing any fucking deodorant.
We need gas.
- I want him out. - So do I. What do you wanna do?
- I want you to tell him. - I want you to tell him!
Fine, pussy, I'll tell him.
What the fuck are you two looking at?
I guess you'll tell him later.
It's a big public event, you may want to tell him how to behave.
It's a water park, E, what could he do?
- We've been to a water park with him. - Don't start.
Six Flags. He almost killed Ryan, dunking him.
- He didn't know he had asthma. - He had an inhaler around his neck!
- You always defend him. - I get it.
Just talk to him, please.
- Let's hit the fucking flume, boys. - Let's do it.
He stole that, by the way.
- What the fuck are you whispering about? - Nothing.
Good. Then get the fuck in the car and let's hit it.
Make some room.
There he is. All right. You made it.
E, got your lifts? I'd hate to see you sidelined by the height requirement.
I'll laugh when we're on the ride and you have a panic attack.
Not if Xanax has anything to say about it, you won't.
Vince, I nearly cut the ribbon myself.
- Sorry we're late, Shauna. - Who are you?
- Is there a man behind this beautiful belly? - Is he kidding me?
- Oh, you two are... - Oh, please.
Girls, this is my boy from back home. Dom. Shauna, Christy. This is Ari.
You girls gonna ride with us?
If I wanted to induce, I'd be at the hospital.
Sit next to me. I've always wanted to be involved in the birthing process.
That's disgusting.
Sit next to me. I'll take care of you, Christy.
Even more disgusting.
- Hey! Over here. - Back off.
What are you doing, jerk-off?
Jesus Christ!
- He stole that candy too. - What?
- It's OK. Give him back his camera. Sorry. - Thanks, Vince.
Come here.
Take the picture.
Sorry about that, all right?
- I'm sorry, man. - That's all right.
Come on, let's go. We've got things to do.
- Is he kidding me? - I'll talk to him. I'll talk to him.
On behalf of Magic Mountain, we'd like to present you with this key to our park.
To Aquaman, Vincent Chase.
We've got to talk.
So talk.
It's a family matter, E.
Yes, not for inquiring minds.
I'm sure it's really intriguing, Turtle.
I'll be right back.
I've got some family business to take care of too.
- I'll miss all the excitement, Ari. - I'd work on that attitude for the kid's sake.
- What's up? - We took a vote.
- The two of you? - That's right.
The tribe has spoken. We think it's time for Dom to push off our island.
Isn't it awesome having him around?! You haven't been so happy since we got Arnold.
- Well, things have changed. - Five just don't work, E.
Four is a perfect number.
By the way, he stole that candy bar.
- What? - Ask Turtle.
I ain't a rat.
- We just don't want him around no more. - Vince does.
- So we get a minivan? - He's on parole.
He has to go back eventually. We just gotta ride it out.
...it will blow your mind. It is crazy.
I'm super-excited. I hope you enjoy the ride.
Come on. Give it up for Vince.
Make some fucking noise.
- Excuse Max, it's time for his Accutane. - What are you doing, Gold?
- You two-timing my daughter? - What? No. Me and Sarah aren't exclusive.
I'd prefer it if you were nothing at all. Stay away from my daughter.
- Keep dreaming. - Maxi, listen to me, or I will squash you. OK?
You gonna do that with your five-man agency? Don't make threats you can't keep.
Come on, Ari. Flume of doom awaits, baby.
They say it's hell, Ari. Seriously, take this just in case.
So what's the rule? The slower the rise, the quicker the fall?
Yeah, something like that.
This is sick!
I guess I shouldn't have had that second chilli dog.
Jesus.
You OK, Ari?
Great, Dom.
So what kind of fruit name is Ari, anyway?
I spoke to Drama and Turtle about Dom. I'm not the only one worried.
- I talked to him, E. - Yeah? What did he say?
It's all good. He totally gets it.
Great.
What's the deal with parolees, how long do they stay out?
As long as he wants if he gets a job.
- Good thing he doesn't have one. - Actually, I made him head of my security.
I owe him, E. I owe him.
Motherfucker!
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