NORMALLY I WOULDN'T WASTE MY TIME
MEETING WITH A COLLEGE FRESHMAN GROVELING FOR AN INTERNSHIP.
WELL, THANK YOU, MISS KAHN. BITTERMAN!
YEAH, CHIEF?
WHERE'S THAT PIECE ON SENATOR JENNINGS?
I-I-I'M TYPING IT UP.
I DON'T SEE YOUR FINGERS MOVING.
20 MINUTES, OR THEY'LL BE TWIDDLING OVER THE WANT ADS.
OF COURSE, CHIEF.
WHERE WAS I?
THE INTERNSHIP. OH, RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
YOU DIDN'T GET IT.
WHAT?
WELL, THEN... WHY AM I HERE?
CURIOSITY.
IT'S THE BACKBONE OF ANY DECENT REPORTER.
HAVE YOU GOT BACKBONE, SULLIVAN?
YEAH, I...
YOU HAD A COLUMN HERE A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, DIDN'T YOU?
WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL.
WELL, THAT IS QUITE AN ACCOMPLISHMENT
TO HAVE YOUR OWN BY-LINE
WHEN YOU'RE PRACTICALLY STILL IN DIAPERS.
I MEAN, A LOT OF REPORTERS...
WELL, REAL REPORTERS... WORK FOR YEARS STRUGGLING
BEFORE THEY CAN GET THAT KIND OF A CHANCE.
I JUST WANTED TO MEET THE KID THAT COULD PULL THAT OFF.
THANKS.
OH, WELL, DON'T THANK ME. THANK LIONEL LUTHOR.
HE'S THE ONE WHO ARM-TWISTED THE OLD CHIEF EDITOR
INTO DROPPING YOUR JUVENILE PABLUM INTO THIS PAPER.
I DIDN'T ASK LIONEL TO DO THAT.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T SAY "NO" EITHER, DID YOU?
THEN YOU MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO PISS LIONEL OFF
BECAUSE HE GOT YOU FIRED.
I REMEMBER THAT DAY.
I BELIEVE WE HAD CAKE.
MISS KAHN, I DON'T EXPECT TO BE GIVEN A COLUMN LIKE LAST TIME.
I'M WILLING TO START FROM THE BOTTOM
AND WORK MY WAY UP WITHOUT ANY HELP OR ARM-TWISTING.
ALL I WANT IS THE OPPORTUNITY TO PROVE MYSELF.
BEING A PART OF THIS WORLD,
WORKING AT THE DAILY PLANET, IT'S...
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM.
WELL, WE ALL HAVE TO WAKE UP SOMETIME, DON'T WE, SULLIVAN?
BY THE WAY, WE DON'T VALIDATE.
YOU KNOW WHAT, MISS KAHN?
I KNOW YOU MAY BE EDITOR IN CHIEF NOW,
BUT EVEN YOU HAD TO START SOMEWHERE,
AND I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE UP UNTIL I GET THE SAME CHANCE.
I STARTED BY BEING A DAMN GOOD REPORTER.
YOU WANT A BREAK?
BRING ME A STORY.
Chloe: OKAY, LET'S STOP FOR A SECOND.
IN CASE YOU CAN'T TELL, I WAS COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT.
PAULINE KAHN HAD THROWN DOWN THE GAUNTLET.
THE WOMAN HAD TWO PULITZERS.
I HAD A HIGH-SCHOOL SERVICE PLAQUE AND ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA
WHERE MY BIG STORY WAS GOING TO COME FROM.
LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT 10 CITY BLOCKS AWAY,
IT WAS ABOUT TO BITE ME IN THE ASS...
WELL, MORE LIKE THE NECK, BUT WE'LL GET TO THAT LATER.
WELCOME TO THE TRI-PSI SORORITY HOUSE.
I THINK THAT'S GREEK FOR "BIMBOS, BIKINIS, AND BEER."
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
PIZZA PIZZA, DELIVERED IN 28 MINUTES, PIPING...
HOT.
OH, MY GOD, WE ARE SO STARVING.
MMM, LET'S EAT IN THE JACUZZI.
[ BOTH GIGGLING ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ]
I, UH... I REALLY SHOULD BE GETTING BACK TO WORK.
OH... MNH-MNH. CAN'T YOU STAY AND PLAY?
JUST FOR A LITTLE BIT?
WELL, MAYBE JUST FOR A MINUTE.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR PIZZA?
YOU TASTE SO MUCH BETTER THAN PEPPERONI.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
AHHH!
AHHH! AHH!
♫ SOMEBODY SAVE ME ♫
♫ LET YOUR WARM HANDS BREAK RIGHT THROUGH ♫
♫ SOMEBODY SAVE ME ♫
♫ I DON'T CARE HOW YOU DO IT ♫
♫ JUST STAY ♫
♫ STAY WITH ME ♫
♫ STAY ♫
♫ COME ON ♫
♫ I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♫
♫ JUST STAY WITH ME ♫
♫ I'VE MADE THIS WHOLE WORLD SHINE FOR YOU ♫
♫ STAY ♫
♫ COME ON ♫
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
Clark: TELEGRAM.
HEY.
CLARK, HI.
I JUST WANTED TO... [ CHUCKLES ]
COME BY AND SURPRISE MYSELF.
WHAT'S ALL THIS?
THIS IS ME PACKING.
PACKING FOR WHAT?
FOR COLLEGE.
I, UH... I GOT LATE ACCEPTANCE TO MET U.
CONGRATULATIONS.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU APPLIED TO MET U.?
BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO GET MY HOPES UP.
I APPLIED SO LATE I DIDN'T THINK I HAD ANY CHANCE.
WITH YOUR GRADES, THEY'D BE CRAZY NOT TO ACCEPT YOU.
WELL, I GOT IN JUST UNDER THE WIRE.
THERE AREN'T EVEN ANY DORM ROOMS LEFT ANYMORE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO STAY?
I CAN CRASH AT CHLOE'S, BUT MAYBE I'll TRY A SORORITY.
I KNOW HOW IT SOUNDS,
BUT IT'S THE ONLY HOUSING NEAR TO CAMPUS
I HAVE ANY SHOT OF GETTING INTO.
YOU KNOW, CENTRAL KANSAS UNIVERSITY
HAS PLENTY OF HOUSING STILL AVAILABLE, AND...
AND THEY HAVE YOU.
BUT THEY DON'T HAVE ANY OF THE COURSES
THAT I'M REALLY INTERESTED IN,
ESPECIALLY ASTRONOMY.
IT'S NOT GOING TO BE THAT BAD.
WE'LL TALK TO EACH OTHER ON THE PHONE ALL THE TIME.
DON'T WORRY.
NOTHING'S GOING TO CHANGE BETWEEN US.
WELCOME TO THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS AND EXCLUSIVE SORORITY
AT METROPOLIS UNIVERSITY.
WE ARE THE RICHEST. WE ARE THE PRETTIEST.
WE ARE THE BEST.
OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS, MANY OF YOU WILL LEAVE DISAPPOINTED.
BUT IF YOU'RE INSANELY COOL AND VERY, VERY LUCKY,
YOU MIGHT JUST BE CHOSEN TO BE A TRI-PSI.
AND IF THAT HAPPENS, IT'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE...
FOREVER.
MEET BUFFY SANDERS,
PRESIDENT OF THE TRI-PSI SORORITY.
BY THE WAY, I CHANGED THE NAMES TO PROTECT THE VAPID.
IN THE FINAL DAYS OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE,
WEALTH AND POWER
WERE THE ONLY THINGS THE EMPEROR COVETED.
WHAT ABOUT THE GOOD CITIZENS OF ROME?
WHAT DID THEY DO?
DID THEY RISE UP,
BURN THEIR BRAS AND THEIR DRAFT CARDS?
NO.
THEY WENT TO THE COLOSSEUM.
THEY STOOD IDLE WHILE AN EVIL MAN
DESTROYED THEIR WORLD.
IN YOUR LIFETIME,
EACH OF YOU MAY BE FACED WITH A SIMILAR SITUATION.
THE QUESTION IS...
WILL YOU LEAVE YOUR FOOTPRINTS ON THE HISTORY OF TIME
OR LET THEM BE WASHED AWAY
BY THE TIDES OF MORE POWERFUL MEN?
MR. KENT... WHAT ABOUT YOU?
ME? I, UM...
LUTHORCORP PRACTICALLY OWNS YOUR HOMETOWN OF SMALLVILLE.
WHAT IF YOU FOUND OUT THAT LEX LUTHOR,
THE EMPEROR OF THE COMPANY,
WAS A DANGEROUS, UNSTABLE MEGALOMANIAC
BENT ON DESTROYING YOUR WORLD?
WOULD YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO TRY TO STOP HIM?
I, UH... [ BELL RINGS ]
READ CHAPTER THREE FOR MONDAY.
THERE'LL BE A QUIZ ON THE MATERIAL.
INTERESTING LECTURE YOU'VE BEEN GIVING, PROFESSOR.
I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN TAKING NOTES.
OH, JUST THE HIGHLIGHTS.
YOU'VE BEEN PAINTING ME AS THE POSTER CHILD
FOR CORPORATE VILLAINY.
SOME OF THE THINGS YOU SAY COME DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO LIBEL.
IT'S ONLY LIBEL IF IT ISN'T TRUE.
EVERYTHING I SAY IN THIS CLASSROOM
IS SUPPORTED BY MY RESEARCH.
AND ME.
YOU ARE A FASCINATING SUBJECT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT FASCINATES ME, PROFESSOR?
YOUR LECTURES HAVE INCLUDED SPECULATION
IN CERTAIN LUTHORCORP PROJECTS
THAT AREN'T EVEN PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE.
I'M SORRY, BUT I NEVER SPECULATE.
THE STUDY OF HISTORY
IS BUILT ON METICULOUS RESEARCH...
EVEN BEFORE COMING TO OBVIOUS CONCLUSIONS.
[ BRIEFCASE LOCKS SNAP ]
AND WOULD ONE OF YOUR RESEARCH SOURCES BE CLARK KENT?
I KNOW YOU HIRED HIM AS YOUR ASSISTANT.
NOW... WHY WOULD A MAN OF YOUR STATURE
BE SO CONCERNED WITH THE COMINGS AND GOINGS
OF A FRESHMAN FARM BOY?
IF YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT ME, PROFESSOR,
I'M SURE YOU REALIZE THAT I DONATE
A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF FUNDING TO THIS UNIVERSITY.
THAT ALLOWS ME AN UNUSUAL LEVEL OF ACCESS
TO THE DEAN AND THE ACADEMIC REVIEW BOARD.
YEAH, I KNOW.
THE BUYING OF INFLUENCE IS PART OF MY SECOND SEMESTER.
IF YOU HAVE A SECOND SEMESTER.
[ SIGHS ]
YOU SHOULD ALL BE VERY PROUD.
THE FOUR OF YOU WERE AMAZING DURING RUSH WEEK,
LIKE LITTLE DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH
JUST WAITING TO BE POLISHED.
BUT NOT EVERYONE IS TRI-PSI MATERIAL.
IT'S SAD, BUT IT'S A FACT.
CAROL... BOBBY...
SUSAN, PLEASE STEP FORWARD.
THE THREE OF YOU WERE REALLY GREAT!
BUT GREAT ISN'T ENOUGH FOR A TRI-PSI.
A TRI-PSI HAS TO BE EXCELLENT ALL OVER.
BYE, NOW.
W-WAIT A MINUTE. YOU MEAN THAT I'M IN?
LANA, COME ON. YOU'RE AMAZING.
OF COURSE WE WANT YOU TO BE ONE OF US.
WOW. [ CHUCKLES ]
UM, THANK YOU.
BUT THERE IS JUST THIS LITTLE INITIATION THING
THAT WE HAVE TO DO FIRST.
[ HISSES ]
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?!
WE'RE TRI-PSIS.
WE'RE THE HOTTEST VAMPIRES EVER.
WELCOME TO THE SISTERHOOD.
NICE SHOT.
YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW THE ANGLES.
THAT'S WHY YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING INTO MY PAST?
COME ON, PROFESSOR.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE INTERESTED IN HISTORY, ARE YOU?
YOU DON'T STRIKE ME AS THAT MUCH OF AN ACADEMIC TYPE.
WHAT'S THIS?
I KNOW YOU'RE A BUSY MAN.
I THOUGHT I'D SAVE YOU SOME TIME.
THAT'S MY WHOLE LIFE IN THERE...
EVERY RECORD, EVERY ACHIEVEMENT, EVERY FAILURE,
ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE DAY I WAS BORN.
AND I'M SUPPOSED TO JUST SWALLOW ALL OF THIS?
YOU WOULDN'T BE THE GREAT LEX LUTHOR...
IF YOU DID.
NO, YOU'LL SPEND A FORTUNE CHECKING AND RECHECKING...
CONVINCED WHAT YOU BELIEVE MUST BE TRUE.
AND, UH...
WHAT IS IT I BELIEVE, PROFESSOR?
THAT EVERYONE IS HIDING SECRETS AS DARK AS YOURS.
HOW DID YOU GET THIS?
JUST USED MY BRAIN.
IT'S AN INTERESTING DOCUMENT, ISN'T IT?
IT SEEMS TO INDICATE YOU'RE USING FUNDING TO THE UNIVERSITY
TO CONDUCT QUESTIONABLE LUTHORCORP EXPERIMENTS...
ON CAMPUS...
BUT OFF THE CORPORATE BOOKS.
I WONDER WHAT THE DEAN WOULD THINK ABOUT THAT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
NEVER START A GAME YOU CAN'T WIN.
MR. LUTHOR.
FOLLOW HIM.
WITH PLEASURE, SIR.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M REDECORATING.
KAREN, THIS IS MY SIDE OF THE ROOM.
YEAH, BUT I'VE GOT TO LOOK AT IT, OKAY?
NOW, LISTEN TO ME.
I DID NOT SPEND FOUR YEARS OF HIGH-SCHOOL MISERY
DREAMING ABOUT COMING TO MET U...
FOR THIS, OKAY?
BUT I DIDN'T... NO, OKAY?
AND WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF ROOMMATE ETIQUETTE...
CAN YOU PLEASE TELL [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] OVER HERE
THIS ISN'T THE BETTY FORD CLINIC, OKAY?
I'M GONNA GO NOW.
I'D RATHER BE ROOMMATES WITH A TWO-HEADED MONKEY.
ALL RIGHT, LANA... RISE AND SHINE, SLEEPING BEAUTY.
UP AND AT 'EM.
[ GROANS ]
OKAY, FOR SOMEONE WITH A KEEN WEIRD-DAR,
I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID NOT SEE THE SIGNS.
BUT I DEFY ANYONE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN A NASCENT VAMPIRE
AND A FRESHMAN GIRL WITH A HANGOVER.
DIDN'T YOU HAVE CLASS THIS MORNING?
[ MUMBLING ]
I MUST HAVE OVERSLEPT.
WOW.
FIRST OFFICIAL DAY ON CAMPUS, AND YOU'RE ALREADY HUNG OVER.
MAYBE YOU REALLY ARE SORORITY MATERIAL.
[ CHUCKLES ]
IS LANA HERE?
HEY.
YEAH, WHAT'S LEFT OF HER.
PLEDGE PARTY... HIGHER LEARNING AT ITS BEST.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD SEE IF YOU CAN BREATHE SOME LIFE INTO HER.
I'll BE AT THE LIBRARY,
RESEARCHING WAYS TO KILL MY ROOMMATE.
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
ROUGH NIGHT LAST NIGHT?
I GUESS.
IT'S ALL A LITTLE FUZZY.
WELL, IT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME PARTY.
I, UH, TRIED TO CALL YOU A FEW TIMES LAST NIGHT AND AGAIN THIS MORNING.
DID YOU GET ANY OF MY MESSAGES?
NO, I HAVEN'T CHECKED MY VOICE MAIL YET.
SORRY.
LANA, ARE YOU OKAY?
UH-HUH.
I'M JUST... FEELING A BIT DEAD.
[ SNIFFS ]
GOD.
YOU SMELL AMAZING.
IS THAT NEW AFTERSHAVE?
NO, IT'S JUST THE... THE USUAL.
WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY SOMETHING UNUSUAL.
LANA, I...
SHUT UP, CLARK. YOU TALK TOO MUCH.
LANA... LANA...
LANA, STOP. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?
WE'RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE, CLARK.
THINGS CHANGE.
I CAN SEE THAT. WE'RE IN COLLEGE NOW.
LIVE A LITTLE... I PLAN TO.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE ALL NEEDY AND INSECURE,
MAYBE WE NEED TO RE-EVALUATE THIS RELATIONSHIP.
YOU SHOULDN'T BE PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON THINGS
THAT AREN'T YOURS, PROFESSOR.
ACTUALLY... IT IS MINE.
[ GRUNTS ]
I GOOGLED "VAMPIRES."
THEIR HISTORIC TRAITS INCLUDE AVERSION TO SUNLIGHT,
ELONGATED CANINES,
AN INSATIABLE HUNGER FOR HUMAN BLOOD...
OH, AND IMMORTALITY.
POOR LANA'S ABOUT TO FIND OUT
ABOUT THE LAST ONE THE HARD WAY.
WHOO-HOO!
WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!
Buffy: LOOKS LIKE WE PICKED A WINNER!
GOD, THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN SITTING AROUND
LISTENING TO MY BOYFRIEND WHINE ABOUT HIS FEELINGS.
YOU'RE A TRI-PSI NOW, LANA. WE EAT BOYFRIENDS FOR BREAKFAST.
WELL, THEN... TO BREAKFAST!
[ LAUGHS ]
MMM.
AHH.
WHOA. [ LAUGHS ]
MAYBE I SHOULD SLOW DOWN A LITTLE BIT.
WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT?
YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THE NORMAL, BORING PEOPLE ANYMORE, LANA.
YOU'RE ONE OF US NOW.
AND WE DO THINGS A LITTLE MORE EXCITING.
LIKE WHAT?
LIKE THIS.
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
[ GIGGLES ]
[ ALL GIGGLING ]
OH... MY GOD. DID YOU SEE HER FACE?
[ GASPS ] SHE WAS ALL LIKE...
"AAAAAH!" "AAAAAH!""AAAAAH!"
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
[ BONES CRUNCHING ]
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
[ NECK CRACKS ]
OH. DIDN'T WE TELL YOU?
YOU GET TO LIVE FOREVER.
COOL.
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH LANA,
but I went over to the sorority house today to say hi,
AND ONE OF THE PRETTY, PLASTIC PEOPLE TOLD ME
THAT SHE WAS STILL ASLEEP
at 3:00 in the afternoon.
I TRIED CALLING HER, TOO, BUT SHE WON'T PICK UP.
MAYBE SHE NEEDS A LITTLE SPACE.
OR SOME SERIOUS DEPROGRAMMING.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I'm pulling up some information for a story I'm working on,
AND I THINK THERE'S A LOT MORE GOING ON AT THAT HOUSE
THAN JUST PEDICURES AND PILLOW FIGHTS.
I THINK YOU BETTER GET OVER HERE...
[ WIND GUSTING ]
Clark: HEY.
CLARK... WHAT DO YOU GOT?
BESIDES A HEART ATTACK?
OKAY, SIX YEARS AGO TRI-PSI WAS JUST YOUR REGULAR SORORITY,
AND THEN THEIR NEW PRESIDENT TOOK OVER.
BUFFY SANDERS.
YEAH.
AFTER THAT, THEY BECAME THE MOST EXCLUSIVE SORORITY AT MET U.
THEY GET MORE PLEDGES THAN ANY GREEK SORORITY EVERY YEAR,
BUT THEY ONLY CHOOSE ONE GIRL TO BE A PART OF TRI-PSI.
LANA. YEAH.
NOW, IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S A MEMBER FOR LIFE.
ACCORDING TO THIS, EVER SINCE BUFFY SANDERS TOOK OVER,
NOT ONE TRI-PSI HAS EVER LEFT THE SISTERHOOD.
THINK THAT HAS TO DO WITH THE WAY LANA'S BEEN ACTING?
I THINK THAT THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY THAT WE CAN BE SURE.
COSTUME PARTY?
IT'S THE PERFECT COVER FOR US TO GET IN THERE AND POKE AROUND.
I HATE COSTUMES.
INVITATION?
RIGHT, INVITATION.
I HAD ONE WHEN I WAS AT THE NAIL SALON, AND THEN, UM...
AND THEN, OF COURSE, I WENT TO GET WAXED
AND TO THE TANNING BED, SO I, UM...
CARLOS, DO YOU REMEMBER WHERE I PUT IT?
CARLOS.
NO.
NO, I DON'T.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO LET YOU IN WITHOUT AN INVITATION.
BUT I WON'T TELL IF YOU DON'T... CARLOS.
GREAT. OKAY, WELL...
LET'S GO, CARLOS.
SORRY.
SO, UH, CARLOS, HUH?
STARTS WITH A "C."
DON'T YOU THINK THE CAPE IS A LITTLE MUCH?
I KIND OF LIKE IT. IT'S NOT TOO BAD.
I MEAN, THE MASK SLIDES AROUND.
I CAN HARDLY SEE ANYTHING SOMETIMES.
UM, WHY DON'T YOU CHECK UPSTAIRS,
SEE IF YOU CAN FIND ANYTHING?
I'll SCOPE THINGS OUT DOWN HERE.
IF YOU SEE LANA...
I'll LET HER KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE.
LANA!
HEY.
GO PLAY WITH YOUR SIX-SHOOTER.
ME AND THE KITTY CAT HERE NEED TO HAVE A TALK.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?
I WAS, UH, LOOKING FOR THE BATHROOM.
WHOO! HOT TUB! [ LAUGHTER ]
SORRY, BUF.
[ FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING ]
LANA, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'M HAVING FUN.
YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME.
WHAT IF CLARK SAW YOU WITH THAT GUY?
YOU REMEMBER CLARK, RIGHT?
YOUR BOYFRIEND WHO CARES ABOUT YOU
MORE THAN ANYTHING?
YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO RUIN A PARTY, DON'T YOU?
LANA, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, BUT THIS ISN'T YOU.
YOU WOULDN'T HURT CLARK LIKE THIS.
I'M... I'M SORRY, CHLOE...
BUT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE.
[ HISSES ]
OH, SWEETIE... [ CHUCKLES ]
THIS ISN'T A MOVIE.
UGH!
NOTE TO SELF...
NEVER CONFRONT A VAMPIRE WHEN THEY'RE HUNGRY,
EVEN IF THEY ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND.
[ Chloe groaning ]
Clark!
[ GROANS ] [ WIND GUSTING ]
LANA?
[ HISSES ]
[ MONITOR BEEPING ]
Man: BLUE TEAM TO I.C.U., PLEASE.
BLUE TEAM, I.C.U.
FRANKLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TRY.
WE'VE GIVEN HER A TRANSFUSION, BUT THERE'S BEEN NO IMPROVEMENT.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?
WELL, AS NEAR AS WE CAN TELL, SHE'S BEEN INFECTED
WITH SOME SORT OF RABIES-LIKE VIRUS.
IT WAS PROBABLY TRANSMITTED
IN THE SALIVA OF WHATEVER ANIMAL BIT HER.
IT'S ATTACKING HER RED BLOOD CELLS,
PREVENTING THEM FROM REGENERATING.
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN DO?
WE CAN KEEP UP THE TRANSFUSIONS,
HOPE SHE STABILIZES.
I'M SORRY.
Woman: PAGING DR. BENDER.
PAGING DR. BENDER.
YOU HAVE TO FIGHT IT, CHLOE.
YOU HAVE TO FIGHT IT.
IS SHE ALL RIGHT?
PROFESSOR, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
VISITING A SICK COLLEAGUE.
THOUGH HE SEEMS TO BE DOING BETTER THAN YOUR FRIEND.
WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?
SHE WAS... BITTEN.
BY WHAT?
I KNOW HOW THIS IS GONNA SOUND,
BUT I THINK SHE WAS ATTACKED BY A VAMPIRE.
CLARK, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS VAMPIRES.
I KNOW WHAT I SAW, PROFESSOR.
SHE'S LOST A LOT OF BLOOD,
AND THE TRANSFUSION DIDN'T WORK
BECAUSE SHE'S INFECTED BY SOME WEIRD STRAIN OF...
RABIES.
RABIES?
[ FLIPS PAPER ]
YOU MIGHT WANT TO HAVE A WORD WITH YOUR BUDDY LEX LUTHOR.
LEX?
ASK HIM ABOUT PROJECT 1138.
YOU GOT THAT JUST FROM LOOKING AT CHLOE'S CHART?
I RECOGNIZE THE SYMPTOMS FROM MY RESEARCH AT LUTHORCORP.
NOW, DO YOU WANT TO STAND AROUND HERE PLAYING 20 QUESTIONS,
OR DO YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR FRIEND'S LIFE?
HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?!
YOU NEVER LEAVE ANYONE ALIVE. YOU HAVE TO FINISH THEM OFF.
OR TURN THEM BY MAKING THEM DRINK YOUR BLOOD.
OH, THAT GUY CARLOS SAW YOU.
HIS NAME'S CLARK.
OH, WHATEVER. HE SAW YOU FEEDING.
AND HE WAS SNEAKING AROUND MY ROOM.
THAT'S TWO STRIKES. I'M NOT WAITING FOR A THIRD.
HE'S MY BOYFRIEND.
SO?
LANA, YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE FOREVER NOW.
HE'S GONNA GET OLD AND WITHERED
AND SAG IN PLACES THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE SAGGING.
YOU'RE SPECIAL. HE'S NOT... DEAL.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO TO HIM?
[ CHUCKLES ] ME?
OH, HONEY, THIS IS YOUR FRESHMAN MESS.
FIND CLARK AND BRING HIM BACK HERE
WITH JUST ENOUGH LIFE IN HIM SO WE CAN ALL HAVE A TASTE...
OR YOU'RE THE ONE WE'LL BE FEEDING OFF OF TONIGHT.
LEX!
PROJECT 1138... WHAT IS IT?
I NEVER HEARD OF IT.
DON'T LIE TO ME.
I KNOW IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE RABIES VIRUS.
CHLOE'S IN THE HOSPITAL DYING FROM IT RIGHT NOW,
AND I THINK LANA'S BEEN INFECTED, TOO.
LANA?
NO MORE GAMES.
IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON,
YOU GOT TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW,
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
SIX YEARS AGO,
A GIRL NAMED BUFFY SANDERS WAS TRAPPED
IN A CAVE OUTSIDE SMALLVILLE FOR SEVERAL DAYS.
I KNOW, LEX. I READ THE NEWSPAPER ARTICLE.
CERTAIN FACTS NEVER MADE IT INTO THE PRESS.
LIKE WHAT?
LUTHORCORP AIDED IN HER RESCUE.
AFTER SHE WAS TRANSPORTED TO THE HOSPITAL,
THE SITE WAS DISCOVERED TO POSSESS UNUSUAL CHARACTERISTICS.
LEX, QUIT DANCING AROUND. WHAT DID LUTHORCORP FIND?
METEOR ROCKS.
THEY HAD SOAKED INTO THE WATER TABLE,
CREATING INFECTED STALACTITES,
WHICH IN TURN INFECTED THE INDIGENOUS ANIMAL LIFE
DESMODUS ROTUNDUS. VAMPIRE BATS.
SO WE ARE DEALING WITH VAMPIRES.
THERE'S NOTHING MYSTICAL ABOUT THIS, CLARK.
IT'S JUST A VERY UNUSUAL DISEASE.
ONE OF THE LUTHORCORP RESEARCHERS
WAS ACCIDENTALLY BITTEN AND QUICKLY DEVELOPED
UNUSUAL STRENGTH, AVERSION TO BRIGHT LIGHT,
AND ADAPTIVE CANINE TEETH. FANGS?
SEEMED TO HELP WITH THE CANNIBALISTIC TENDENCIES.
WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM, LEX?
HE RETIRED TO SAUSALITO...
AFTER WE CURED HIM.
WE WERE ABLE TO CREATE A SERUM THAT REVERSES THE INFECTION.
THE STALACTITE... IT KEEPS THE SERUM ACTIVE.
NOW, IT NEEDS TO BE ADMINISTERED DIRECTLY INTO THE HEART
IN ORDER TO CARRY THROUGH THE BLOODSTREAM EFFECTIVELY.
CLARK, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
[ HISSES ]
LANA?
UGH!
I'M SORRY IT HAS TO BE THIS WAY, CLARK,
BUT WE DON'T ALWAYS GET TO CHOOSE WHO WE ARE.
SOMETIMES OUR DESTINY LEADS US TO PLACES
THAT WE DON'T WANT TO GO,
AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.
LANA, NO.
I LOVE YOU, CLARK.
I ALWAYS WILL.
[ SCREAMS, GASPS ]
[ CLARK GRUNTS ]
BUFFY WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU, CLARK.
YOU ARE SPECIAL... AREN'T YOU?
Buffy: [ GASPS ] NICE WORK.
HE'S QUITE A CATCH...
100% CORN-FED KANSAS BEEF.
LET'S EAT.
WAIT.
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING ELSE WE CAN DO WITH HIM?
LIKE WHAT? BARBECUE?
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
NO, LIKE CONVERT HIM... INTO ONE OF US.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WE'RE A SORORITY, NOT A FRATERNITY.
NO BOYS ALLOWED.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. HE'S SPECIAL.
NOT TO ME.
GET OUT OF THE WAY. NO.
EXCUSE ME.
HE'S MINE. YOU'RE NOT TOUCHING HIM.
OH. [ CHUCKLES ]
[ GRUNTS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ HISSES ]
I'M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, LANA.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE NOT TRI-PSI MATERIAL AFTER ALL.
[ HISSES ]
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
LOOKS LIKE I'M MAKING THE RULES NOW.
ANYONE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
NO, NO. CONGRATULATIONS.
THAT'S GREAT. GET OUT.
GET OUT!
OKAY.
[ Straining ] LANA...
CLARK, IT'S OKAY. I'M HERE.
LISTEN TO ME. YOU'RE SICK.
NO. NO, I'M NOT.
I'VE NEVER FELT BETTER.
CLARK, I KNOW WHAT'S INSIDE OF YOU.
I FELT YOUR STRENGTH.
AND NOW I WANT YOU TO FEEL MINE.
NO.
IT'S NOT WHO YOU ARE.
BUT MAYBE IT IS.
MAYBE I'VE BEEN HIDING IT FROM YOU ALL ALONG,
JUST LIKE YOU WERE HIDING WHO YOU REALLY ARE FROM ME.
NO, PLEASE.
CLARK, DON'T FIGHT IT.
WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. YOU KNOW THAT IN YOUR HEART.
AND THIS WAY, WE CAN BE... FOREVER.
ALL IT TAKES IS ONE DROP OF BLOOD.
NO.
[ GRUNTS ]
AHHHH!
AHHHHHHH!
AHHHHH! AH!
[ GASPS ]
[ GRUNTS ]
[ SIGHS ]
LANA?
SO, THE TRI-PSIS GOT BOOTED OFF CAMPUS,
AND ALL THE INFECTED GIRLS WERE TREATED BY LUTHORCORP.
THE UPSIDE WAS THAT MY ROOMMATE WAS SO FREAKED-OUT
THAT SHE TRANSFERRED TO NYU,
WHICH MEANS LANA AND I ARE ONCE AGAIN UNDER THE SAME ROOF.
AS FOR CLARK AND LANA,
THEY SEEM TO BE ABLE TO SURVIVE ANYTHING.
HOW MUCH OF WHAT HAPPENED DO YOU REMEMBER?
BITS AND PIECES.
NOTHING COHERENT, THANK GOD.
BUT THERE, UH...
THERE WAS ONE THING THAT STUCK WITH ME,
SOMETHING I FELT WHEN I BIT YOU.
WHAT WAS THAT?
WARMTH... AND LOVE...
AND AN OVERWHELMING FEELING OF STRENGTH.
I THINK FOR A MOMENT I FELT WHAT WAS INSIDE YOUR HEART.
AND I'VE NEVER FELT CLOSER TO SOMEONE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
I MISS BEING WITH YOU, CLARK.
HOW'S LANA?
SHE'S BACK TO NORMAL, SAME AS CHLOE.
LOOK, I KNOW THINGS HAVEN'T BEEN GREAT BETWEEN US,
BUT I JUST WANTED TO SAY I APPRECIATE YOUR HELP.
THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME, CLARK.
THERE IS SOMETHING I'M STILL CURIOUS ABOUT.
HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT PROJECT 1138?
DOES IT MATTER?
ONLY IF IT CAME FROM PROFESSOR FINE.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST HIM, LEX?
CLARK, HE'S THE ONE WHO'S BEEN ATTACKING ME.
IS THAT WHY YOU STOPPED BY HIS LECTURE?
TO FORCE HIM TO STOP LOOKING AT LUTHORCORP?
HE'S DOING A LOT MORE THAN LOOKING.
HE'S OBTAINING HIGHLY CLASSIFIED PROPRIETARY DOCUMENTS.
HE'S ONLY AFTER THE TRUTH.
I THINK HE'S AFTER MORE THAN THAT.
LOOK, JUST BE CAREFUL.
I DON'T BELIEVE FINE IS THE FRIEND YOU THINK HE IS.
THE MOST EXCITING PART OF FINISHING A STORY
IS NOT FINISHING THE STORY
BUT HAVING SOMEONE ELSE READ IT.
HMM.
IS THAT A GOOD "HMM" OR A BAD "HMM"?
NO, IT'S A GOOD "HMM,"
IF WE PRINTED TABLOID NONSENSE LIKE THE INQUISITOR DOES.
BUT WE'RE THE DAILY PLANET,
AND TALL TALES ABOUT SLAYING BUFFY THE VAMPIRE
DON'T MAKE IT INTO THE PAGES OF A REAL NEWSPAPER.
MISS KAHN, I DIDN'T MAKE THIS UP.
THEY WEREN'T VAMPIRES OF THE MYTHICAL SENSE.
THEY WERE VICTIMS OF AN UNUSUAL DISEASE.
LOOK, HERE... THAT'S ALL THE RESEARCH...
INTERVIEWS, EYEWITNESS ACCOUNTS,
THE CDC REPORT, EVERYTHING.
HMM.
WAS THAT A GOOD "HMM" OR A BAD... SHUT UP.
HERE'S THE THING.
YOUR WRITING SHOWS THAT YOU'RE NOT COMPLETELY WITHOUT TALENT.
THANK YOU.
BUT YOU'RE NOT A REAL REPORTER, EITHER... YET.
WELL, EVERYONE HAS TO START SOMEWHERE.
WELCOME TO THE DAILY PLANET, KID.
OH, MY GOD.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
UH, WHERE DO I START?
SAME PLACE I DID... AT THE BOTTOM.
[ EXHALES ]
SHE NEVER DID PRINT THE ARTICLE, BUT I DON'T CARE.
I GOT IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR OF MY DREAM.
OKAY, SO IT'S ACTUALLY THE BASEMENT,
BUT IT'S THE DAILY PLANET...
THE PAPER OF RECORD FOR KINGS,
PRESIDENTS, AND PRIME MINISTERS,
NOT TO MENTION FUTURE SUPERHEROES.
BUT THE WAY I LOOK AT IT,
I HAD NO PLACE TO GO BUT UP, UP, AND AWAY.
Captions by VITAC... www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY WARNER BROS. TELEVISION