Uh, yeah, no.
I mean, you people called me. I'm returning your....
Yeah, yes, I am. I do-- That's me. Sorry.
Are you the same person I was just talking to?
Seriously, I don't have the reference number.
When Mommy was single and 20, she used to use quarters for this.
But now, she has to put money into a machine
to get a card to put into another machine.
Goddammit, come on!
Broke and the entire basement was flooded.
I know. The water was totally up to our knees.
Ben's exercise shit that he never uses,
the washer, dryer.
I'm actually at a laundromat right now.
Can you-- I don't know.
Can you squeeze me in at 5:00, or something?
Yeah, I--
Hold on.
The flippy thing, there's a button, a red--
Yeah. Honey. It's okay, baby.
It's okay, baby. Shh.
Yeah, it's a red button.
You just, um....
Oh, my God, just press it in with a pen or something.
That's perfect.
It'll start back up. Okay, I'm in the car right now.
Can you make the formula? I'm gonna be home in--
Sam?
- Sam? - Daddy.
- Where's my dad? - Mommy.
Sam?
- What's going on? - Daddy!
- Sam! Sam! - Where are you?
See, he was buckled right into that car seat!
He was right here!
He was right here in the car seat. Sam, where are you? Sam!
Sam! Where is he?
He was right in there. I don't understand.
Please call the police!
- Call 911! He was right in there. - Daddy!
Sam! Sam! Sam!
Sam!
- 911, what's your emergency? - My son's missing.
- He was taken out right just.... - 911, what's your emergency?
I don't know where he is. Can somebody please come help me?
She's gone.
Iran, 1.47 million.
Turkey, 1.55 million.
Germany, 1.71 million.
Egypt, 1.73 million.
Vietnam 1.55 million.
The thing one fails to grasp,
two percent is not a staggering number.
That's only one out of every 50 humans on the planet.
Statistically speaking, on the average football pitch,
none of the players would be Departures.
The odds of losing someone in your immediate family are slim at best.
Now, if you look at, let's say, casualties from mass pandemics,
smallpox for one decimated 95 percent of the native population.
China, 27.18 million.
Come here.
Come.
Come on.
It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you.
Hey!
French Club's croissants will be outside the cafe after lunch.
And, finally,
the Denziger Commission Report was released this morning.
We'll be live streaming the hearings in the auditorium all day
and the guidance staff will be available
for anyone who needs to, you know, talk it out.
Thank you, Glen.
Let's rise for the Pledge of Allegiance.
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
and to the republic for which it stands.
One nation under God,
indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
And now, for those who want to,
let us pray for mercy and forgiveness
and return of those who've left us.
Good morning, this is Dusty Bob, and this one goes out to Boon
who lost his lovely Alysse at the Cracker Pickle,
three years ago today.
Alysse, we don't know where you are.
We sure do hope there's pickles up there.
A little Patsy Cline for you all. Let's go teardrop hunting.
Jesus, how many more cars I'm gonna have to get in and out of?
This is it, Congressman. Is it cool if I call you that?
Call me whatever shit you want. Just drive, kid.
You got something for me?
Cool. Thanks.
Would you mind giving me your phone, please?
I promise you'll get it back once you've talked to him.
You mind?
Are you fucking serious?
To quote Wittgenstein,
"Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must remain silent."
- Thank you. - Thank you, Doctor.
So we're clear.
We convened the council of clerics,
representatives of most world religions.
Who, as you know,
were somewhat conflicted about October 14th.
And were thus unable to reach any kind of consensus,
which in turn led us
to the scientific community for answers.
This document, the findings of your commission
as to the instantaneous disappearance
of two percent of the world's population,
some 140 million souls,
your conclusion as to what happened to them,
why them and where they've gone is,
and I'm paraphrasing here.
"I don't know"?
Sir, I am a scientist
and I was asked to look at the data.
In fact, I was asked to identify patterns
that weren't immediately obvious and address related events
like the Chef Anomaly or the Brandenburg Carousel
that were and still are considered miracles,
but they are simply statistical hiccups
that we can't explain.
Because, sir, in my opinion,
miracles do not exist.
Miracles do not exist?
Scientifically speaking, no, sir.
Doctor, pardon my tone,
but who are you, sir,
to tell the American people, that millions
of mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters disappeared.
Gone in an instant.
If that's not a miracle,
What in God's name do you call it?
I don't know.
But if you're implying it was a miracle,
I'm fairly certain, sir, that God sat this one out.
- Hi, there. Mrs. Tunney? - Yes?
- Chief Kevin Garvey. - Garvey, I thought you went crazy.
Uh... That was my dad, the former chief.
Mrs. Tunney, I'm here this morning because I found your dog, Dudley.
And I'm sorry to say that he's...
Well, he's dead.
So?
I just thought you might wanna--
He's been gone for three years. Ran away, never came back.
He was my husband's. He's not coming back either.
- I'm sorry for your loss. - Is that what it is?
Dennis, it's me. You anywhere on that pickup truck?
- You happen to get the plates? - No. But, Dennis, Dennis.
No, there were no plates.
If there were pates, I would have told--
Dennis? From now on, just say, "I'm sorry, Chief.
As of now, I do not know shit."
Fine. I don't know shit.
I've got an hour before the meeting, I'm gonna head to animal control--
Chief, you don't have an hour.
- That meeting was rescheduled. - No.
It starts in five minutes. Nobody told you?
- No, they said noon. - Well, they changed it.
What-- Who changed it?
I don't know, must have been someone from the mayor's office.
Everybody's sitting around waiting for you.
All right, just stall them.
- So you're from Texas, huh? - What gave you that idea?
I was down there a couple of years ago
when I was looking at schools. The people were really nice.
So you're in college?
I was. Not anymore.
Why not?
I didn't see the point.
Well, your folks must be so proud.
You know, Mr. Witten, you don't have to be such a dick.
You're gonna forget you ever felt this way.
What way?
Burdened.
You say that to all of the people you drive?
Nope, sometimes I say, "Abandoned."
This Wayne, he's the real deal?
He's as real as it gets.
Hey, I told her you were late because of a family emergency.
I'm late because her office gave me the wrong fucking time.
That's gonna cut the parade in half.
It's a damn side street. We can close it for three hours.
So what we're going to do--
- Everything okay, Chief? - Your office told me noon.
Well, at least, that gave you time to deal with your emergency.
Okay. The parade should end about 11:00 at the park,
and then, we'll unveil the statue which I'm told is terrifying.
We have to do that tomorrow?
Hector's been working on it for a year.
It's kind of weird just to leave the sheet on it.
Okay, we'll quickly unveil the statue.
The Girl Scouts will read the names.
I'll say a few words, introduce Nora Durst--
- What's she gonna say? - She lost her entire family, Doug.
She'll say whatever the fuck she wants to.
And there we have it, our very first Heroes Day.
- Any questions? - Yeah.
I still don't think they were heroes.
My brother-in-law disappeared and he was a dip-shit.
They're heroes because no one's gonna come to a parade
on "We Don't Know What The Fuck Happened Day."
The DSD has proclaimed a Federal Holiday of Remembrance.
And that's what they're calling our Departed
because that's how we want to remember them.
Everyone loves a hero.
So we're all gonna have a nice walk through town,
have a good cry, and then move on.
It's time. Everybody's ready to feel better.
Not the Remnant.
At last, the Chief speaks.
I would've said something sooner, but I was so riveted.
So we're gonna do this again?
The whole town, the same place at the same time,
on the anniversary.
You're... You're inviting them to show up.
The G.R. isn't a threat.
If they wanna stage a non-violent protest,
that's their right.
You were at the homecoming. They walked right onto the field.
And then, they walked right off. No harm done.
- They are trying to provoke us. - Then don't get provoked.
A year ago, these people didn't even exist.
Now there's almost 50 of them. They bought up an entire cul-de-sac.
You know, you're saying this to me as if I didn't already know it.
I don't know shit, Lucy. Do you?
Where did they come from? What do they want?
You don't even know who they are.
We know who they were.
They're gonna come tomorrow.
And when they do, somebody's gonna get hurt.
You want me to call it off?
Yeah. I want you to call it off.
No.
You're wrong.
Nobody's ready to feel better.
I'm ready to fucking explode.
Come on, girls. Spread it out!
Come on, girls. Sticks down.
What the fuck, Jill?
Jill, I'm sure things have been hard since your mother went away.
I'm fine.
Are you?
I'm sorry, if I'm gonna put you back on that field,
I need your word that this won't happen again.
Yeah, okay.
As long as that cunt stays away from me.
- Tom. - Hi, Pete. How are you doing, man?
Good, good, how about you?
- All right. Nobody followed you? - Nope, took the long way up.
- You get the phone? - Yeah, yes, sir.
- You're the mayor or something? - Congressman.
Congressman. Excuse me, sir.
Two coming up.
Come on. Come on, Jack.
Congressman, we're happy to have you here.
- How was your trip? - Fine, thanks.
I'm sorry about those irritating security procedures.
- I'm sure you're used to that. - Yes.
Go on in.
Wayne, this is Congressman Witten.
Can you help me?
- Is that what I think it is? - Yup.
- You are the best. - Ask and you shall receive.
Don't worry about it. Sit down.
Mmm.
So tell me, who got sent home? I know you watched it.
- Kaitlin got booted. - No way.
Yeah, Brian took her up on this hot air balloon
and told her how he felt this amazing connection, whatever.
Got her into the fantasy suite?
I mean, what woman can resist a hot tub and about 400 roses?
Jesus! What? Try one at a time.
I can't, they're too good.
You need to answer that?
No, ma'am. I do not.
Hey, it's Tom. I'm not here. God bless. Beep.
Hey, Tommy, it's your daddy. Just wanted to hear your voice.
I didn't even know you're capable of saying the word cunt.
I say it all the time.
- To who? - Cunts.
Ladies.
- They kick you off the team? - I got off with a warning.
But if my attitude doesn't change, Coach is gonna call my dad.
Well, I got to say, Jill, your attitude does kind of suck.
Really?
You just get all intense and...
...melancholy and shit sometimes,
which is why you need to come to Dorfman's tonight.
And Nick's gonna be there.
Yeah, Nick.
- Stop. - Yeah, Nick.
Yo, ladies.
Wanna get stoned and play some ping pong?
We're already stoned.
Okay.
Then we can skip right to the ping pong.
And by ping pong, you mean?
Uh... It's like tennis, but easier with a little white ball.
I like your Prius. We're gonna pass.
Right on. As you were.
- You going to Dorfman's tonight? - Maybe.
Ooh, girl, someone wants to show you his little white ball.
- Stop. - Yeah, Nick.
- How'd it go? - I am no longer burdened.
- All gone? - All gone.
- So, you ready to go home? - Yes.
Actually, Tom.
We're gonna have Doug take the congressman home.
Wayne would like to speak with you.
- To me? - Yes, Tom, you.
See you.
Is everything okay?
Why don't you stay here tonight, Tom?
Get some dinner. There's a bed in the bunk house.
Wayne will come to you.
- Do you know what it's about? - Tom. He'll come to you.
Thank you for letting me crash your dinner, Mr. Garvey.
I think it's awesome that you guys have this family thing every night.
Hear that, Jill? Aimee thinks it's awesome.
How was hockey practice?
Same old, same old.
Is there something you wanna tell me?
This meatloaf's fucking spectacular.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about my cooking.
So, Mr. Garvey, are you keeping the peace and what-not
at tomorrow's parade thingy?
You're not going, are you?
Probably not, it sounds depressing.
You don't want us to go?
No. I'd rather you didn't.
- Why not? - I would just rather you didn't.
I would just rather you tell me why not.
Do you really wanna go, or you're just busting my balls?
Busting your balls.
You know what, Mr. Garvey,
Jill and I have been discussing her whole attitude thing lately.
- You have? - Yeah, and...
We both think that, you know, she's been under a lot of stress
and it might actually do her some good
to just, you know, come out, tonight and have a good time.
Where is this good time happening?
It's a guy's house. Jay Dorfman.
- Dorfman? - Yeah.
It's, you know, just a small get together thing.
- His parents will totally be there. - Good.
And it's all the way on the other side of town,
so maybe Jill could borrow your car.
No drinking.
I don't drink.
All right. Have fun.
- Come on, Aimee. - Please don't come tomorrow.
I would-- Jill, I would really appreciate it.
And if it's a party, you better hope no one calls the cops.
- Yeah, yeah. - Text me Dorfman's phone number.
You're doing your best.
It's okay. Just ignore them.
Come on.
- Yo, Nick, spin, let's go! - Nick. Nick.
- I don't have to do it. - It's cool.
- I don't have to do it. It doesn't-- - Go for it.
Jill, I don't care. I seriously don't have to.
Please. Have fun.
And that's the beauty of it.
So, if we do it in Hawaii
and half the guest list won't even show up, just--
I've got to the point, right?
Mm-mm.
Honey.
Listen, I know that this is all a little overwhelming.
Planning a wedding is a big deal.
- It's not, actually. - What?
Well, it's just a party, right?
We're exchanging vows.
Yeah, but that's not the wedding.
That's exactly what the wedding is.
No, the wedding is picking fucking centerpieces.
I'm sorry.
It's just like you said, it's overwhelming.
I'm really looking forward to it.
Yeah, me, too.
What?
Oh. Fucking God.
Here goes some crazy....
My fiancée is going through some stuff, and....
Do it, do it.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck!
It's on you, boo.
- Go get him. - Choke!
Choke! Choke! Choke!
We don't have to do anything. I mean, I won't tell.
I have other rules, Garvey. You could do whatever you want.
It must have been Dorfman's little sister's room or something.
Probably keeping it in case she comes back.
She's not coming back.
None of them are.
Yeah, probably not.
So...
How are you doing, you know, like with your mom and all?
Fantastic, Max. Thanks for asking.
Sorry.
Come on, come on. Be respectful.
So, what's up with Nick and Aimee, huh?
I thought you guys are friends.
Doesn't she know you want to, like, have his babies and shit like that?
Max, please stop talking.
- Do you mind if I jerk off? - Be my guest.
So, I mean, aren't you gonna choke me or what?
Yeah, that's good.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
Would you, baby?
Goddamn it!
Come back.
What the fuck do you want?
Why the fuck are you following us? You're everywhere!
You're fucking everywhere! Go away!
Do you even remember the trajectory of where they end?
See if they bounced off the curb or something, I don't know.
Yeah, I can't see. It's dark.
- Hey, do you have a flashlight? - What?
I was getting out of the car, and I saw this baby shoe,
and I leaned over to get it.
He was tossing me the keys, but I didn't know.
So, they kind of sailed into nowhere.
At least we got a baby shoe.
I think my dad might have some flares or something.
Yeah, all right. Okay.
- How was the party? - It's over.
Everybody's either wasted or hooking up.
- You got to spin? - Yeah.
There's a dead dog in your trunk.
Is it yours?
No.
Does it say his name?
Dudley.
Dudley is kind of a shit name.
- Why did your dad shoot him? - He didn't shoot him.
- Then why was he in the trunk? - I have no idea.
He just wouldn't shoot a dog.
Unless Dudley is one of the ones that went nuts in the 14th.
I heard there's a whole pack of them that lives out in the woods
- behind the state hospital. - That's urban legend bullshit.
I know loads of people with dogs and none of them ran away.
No, no, no. Not all of them did. Just the ones that witnessed it.
You know, who were actually there when someone went....
Dogs are just animals, man.
They're not like us trying to reason it all out
and make sense of shit that makes no sense.
They see something like that and they just snap.
All bets are off right there. No more chasing sticks.
No more licking your own balls.
They just go primal, man.
Same thing is gonna happen to us. It's just taking longer.
Goodbye, Dudley. I hope it's easier now.
We're sorry you got stuck with us.
Tom.
Tom? Get up, man.
Wayne.
How are you?
- We need to talk about Christine. - Okay.
Isn't she one of the girls that lives here?
Look at you.
"Isn't she one of the girls who lives here?"
You chat her ass up
and bring her candy every time you do a drop off, man.
Wayne, I swear--
She's important, you know, she's very important.
And I need you to protect her.
From what?
Some bad shit's coming and there's no getting around it.
I need you to keep her close, keep her safe,
and keep your fucking hands off her.
- Okay? - Yeah.
Okay.
I've been having this dream, Tom.
It's the same one over and over.
It's about my son.
"We're going, Daddy," he says to me.
And all the people who stayed...
They're pretending like it never happened.
They're asleep, but they need to wake up now.
So, I asked him, why now?
And he says, "Therefore...
...watch and remember that by the space of three years,
I seize not to warn them night and day with tears."
- Three years? - Three years.
That's tomorrow.
Grace period's over, Tom.
It's time to go to work.
Tomorrow's October 14th.
So, it's time again for the world to mourn the Departed.
We're gonna talk about what's going on in the past three years.
And you can tell us what you are thinking.
Caller number one, go ahead.
Corinthians 15....
- Jack, I need... - So, who got the Bible...
- Hello? - Hey, Chief, where are you?
Parade starts in ten minutes. The mayor's losing her shit.
Should I-- Just try to stall or something?
Jill, honey? I got to go to the parade.
Where the hell are you, and where the hell is my car?
Unless you are dead,
you have exactly ten minutes to call me back.
Do you understand me? Ten minutes.
What the fuck?
Hey, Tony, got him. Are you okay? What happened?
Jill took the car and didn't come home last night.
Jesus.
Should we send around a couple of cars after the ceremony?
- Are you worried? - Dennis, I'm always fucking worried.
- What's up with the clown? - She always does the parade.
- The kids love her. - No fucking clowns. Jesus Christ.
- Chief Garvey. - Mayor.
- Where have you been? - Securing the parade route.
Uh-huh. Did you see anything interesting?
Just a lot of people ready to feel better.
They need this. We all do.
Talk to me in a few hours. See if you still feel that way.
- Because the G.R. is coming. - Yeah. They definitely are.
Then do your job, Kevin. Maintain the peace.
Yes, ma'am.
Why are you here?
It wasn't the rapture.
They were no better than us.
I have proof, free of charge.
She beat her children. Does that sound like a good person?
She beat her children!
- It was not the rapture. - Matt.
- Do we need to do this today? - Especially today, Officer.
- Chief. - Right, Chief. Sorry.
Hey, next time you see your dad, you tell him he's off the hook.
I will be sure and do that, Matt.
- You're off the hook, too, Chief. - Thank you.
What are you doing?
Be gone.
Jill!
- Where the hell were you last night? - At a friend's.
- What friend? - Does it matter?
- I want to be here. - I don't give a shit what you want.
Why was there a dead dog in your trunk?
Shit.
Testing one, two. Mic check. Check, check, check.
I guess you should go, do your thing.
- Good morning, everyone. - Good morning.
So many of our loved ones were lost three years ago.
It's hard to know how to talk about them without feeling....
Well, we really don't know how to feel.
Because we still wonder where they went and why.
We honor them now with this remembrance,
Mapleton's Own October 14th Memorial.
Hector, would you please?
Thank you, Hector. Outstanding.
- Fran Clary. - Gary Van Nuis.
- Patrick Richard Younger. - Joyce Wong.
- Maggie Roninberg. - Bob Nash.
Colby Parker, Phil McMullen.
Gerald Marcus Zimmeran-- Zimmerman, sorry.
Thank you, girls, for that beautiful remembrance.
Every one of us was touched by the events of October 14th,
but no one more than our honored speaker,
Nora Durst.
"The best day of my life happened a few months before October 14th,
but I didn't know it.
It just seemed like, a nice day, you know.
All four of us at the beach, my husband,
my six-year-old son and my four-year-old daughter.
Their names were...
...are Doug, Jeremy, and Erin.
The kids built a sandcastle,
Doug and I, we just sat on a blanket and watched them work
and it was just perfect. And...
...it felt like...
...I didn't deserve anything that...
...good.
This one Saturday, the winter before that,
we all got hit with the stomach flu, the whole family.
We were all feverish and throwing up,
and I couldn't even get out of bed.
And the kids were lying there with us
and I could feel the heat coming off their bodies,
and I remember thinking, this is it, I was gonna die.
I'm not greedy.
I'm not asking for that perfect day at the beach.
Just give me that horrible Saturday, all four of us sick and miserable.
But alive and together."
Hey, check it out.
What the hell are you doing here?
All units on foot, north side of the park, now.
- Dad. - Go home, now. Now!
Fuck this.
Get out of here! Get the fuck out of here!
Get out of my way! Get back!
Hold the line!
Do not talk about this as if it has something to do
with what we have and have not done as if there are sort of rule book.
Everybody knows that the Holy Word of God--
You're talking about the Bible. You're talking about the Bible.
We're trying to have a secular conversation here
and you wanna talk about God's will.
If it's not the will of God, whose will is it?
It is no one's. It is arbitrary, it is meaningless.
And anyone who suggests otherwise, is trying to start his own cult.
I'll tell you who's starting a cult,
scientists who believe in worshipping their own--
Science always...
Empirical evidence always rules. There is no atheist apostle.
Einstein said that God doesn't play dice with the universe.
There are spiritual explanations, that you can't explain.
God brings along the peace Arbitrary, meaningless.
Stop digging where there isn't....
- Christ, Mike, turn the shit down. - Copy that, Chief.
I am not afraid. I am here--
Pope, I get the Pope. But Gary fucking Busey?
How does he make the cut?
Ours is not the reason why, Mike.
What happened to your eye?
A woman hit me with her shoe.
Come on, really?
Really. Mike, can I get another one?
Are you sure, Chief?
Yeah, I am. Thank you for your concern.
Where were you?
When it happened, where were you?
I was in my house, cleaning out a gutter.
Oh.
Where were you?
I was in a parking lot...
...at the laundromat.
Hey.
We're still here.
We sure are.
Hey.
I saw you. Stop that car. I saw what you did.
You cannot kill our dogs.
Get the fuck out of that car right now.
Stop that truck right fucking now!
Fuck!
You cannot kill our fucking dogs!
I know you don't speak.
I'm looking for someone named Laurie.
If you could tell me what house she's in.
Just point.
Laurie!
I'm gonna go up there.
Hi.
Are you okay?
No.
Come on. Let's take a walk.
Let's just go walk, sit on the grass or something.
I know.
Thank you for fucking underlining that.
Jesus Christ. I'm trying to talk to my wife!
Please, come home.
Please, come home!
Fuck!
I was wondering if I could stay here.
Maybe for just a couple of nights.
You can stay here for as long as you want to, sweetheart.
My name is Patti. What's yours?
Meg.
- Hello, Meg. - Hello.
This is Laurie.
She's gonna take care of you while you're here.
Meg.
You and I won't speak again.
Come on, Tommy. Pick up the goddamn phone.
Were you in my house last night?
- They are not our dogs. - What?
You said they are our dogs. They're not.
Not anymore.
Am I awake?
You are now, Chief.
- You have a gun? - Yeah.
Then what the fuck are you waiting for?